i've got nothing of substance anymore, so here's a fluff post just to get me going!

the past two weeks have been a whirl wind of craziness. a tornado destroyed my town. both my boys had rsv. i'm so behind on school because power, internet, and phone lines are periodically working and then not working (all my classes are online). i'm sick. dave is sick. the boys got better and now they have colds. seriously slacking in the school department. wait. did i already say that? thankfully i have very understanding professors and the actual university that i'm attending is just one town over. so they know the destruction.

but that's not what i want to write about. i want to write about...oh i don't know what i want to write about. i feel stuck. i don't want to be a mommy blogger and talk about my kids all the time. i don't want to be the person who never blogs about their kids. i don't want to talk about my family all the time, but i want to gush on occasion. does that even make sense?

i seriously feel stuck. for the past few days, every time i sit down to start a post i write a few lines and then delete. "that's lame," i tell myself. "no one wants to read that," comes next. i don't have a niche anymore. (did i ever really have a niche? don't answer that.)

so for now, let me tell you about my new love.


source

hello french press! where have you been my whole coffee drinking life?

i love coffee. seriously. love it. i would marry...okay, maybe i don't love it that much, but we do have a thing. dave's okay with it. i have always enjoyed coffee that was made in a french press. i've had it on several happy occasions when i was at a fancy tea and coffee shop when dave and i lived elsewhere. i always thought it was this crazy hard method that wasn't worth it. then a girlfriend of mine got one as a wedding gift and i was in love. like loading the boys up and going to her house every morning in love. after watching her make it i was all like "i can do this!" and began my quest to acquire one for myself. i scoured the internet. made amazon wish lists. looked for coupon codes.

then heaven smiled on me. i walked into our local thrift store for the five dollar bag event (anything you can fit in a brown paper bag for five bucks) hoping to score some good spring clothes for the boys. i was standing in line to check out and happened to glance at the cofee mugs when i saw it. a bodum french press. in the box. with a seal. i think i heard angels singing. i snatched that thing up and put it on top of my bag and gushed to the girl at the counter. "do you know what this is?!" i smiled as i was writing my check. she didn't. or at least she didn't say she did. she just kind of rolled her eyes at me and took my check.

since then, my mornings have been filled with absolute gorgeous coffee swirled with a bit of cream.

dave thinks i might need an intervention.

sometimes i get really overwhelmed. it's true. somedays i feel like everything that i have to do, say, be, take care of, etc, etc weighs down on me with a grand total of 1 ton. that's right 1 ton. no exaggeration.

 

anyway. i get overwhelmed. i feel like school is suffering because i take breaks for my son. i feel like my son is suffering because i'm working on school stuff. let's not even think about the neglect that my husband must feel. my dishes pile up, my assignments are turned in right before the deadline, and silas wears pajamas almost all day. i may get a shower every other day, my car is a wreck, and my floor hasn't been swept in a week. there are dust bunnies under the end tables and couch.

 

but i'm learning that when i start to feel that way i have to take a DEEP breath. in with the good, out with the bad and all that jazz. because you know what? i've got a good life. stressful as it may seem, i've got it pretty good. i've got a husband who loves me. i have a son who is the light of my life. two cats that keep my feet warm when it gets cold outside. a roof over my head and food in my stomach. i count my blessings and things don't seem nearly as bad.

i want my life to be good. great. spectacular. precious. wonderful. wild. beautiful. and i refuse to let stress and anxiety take that from me.

so take a deep breath today. a big, deep, cleansing breath. close your eyes and count to 10 or 100. whatever it takes. because, as a wise man once said, you can make it through anything as long as you know it's temporary. and everything in this life is temporary.

p.s. the wise man is my dad.

the summer day
-mary oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?